(.__.)

I'm sorry I've been so mopey and uninspiring lately (.___.) I dunno. Lately I've been feeling...... kinda down. I don't feel like going outside my house... I don't feel like seeing other people. I just shut down completely, immersing myself in Mass Effect 2. 

I've been motivating myself a lot... But... I don't know. I don't know... The other day my whole family was going out to dinner and I didn't feel like going. I wanted to stay home. The only place where I actually feel comfortable and safe. My 18 year-old-sister tried to get me to go but I just lay in bed, refusing to budge. She pulled the blankets I wrapped myself in and started yelling motivations. 

"C'mooon get outta beeed coome with uuus"

"No.."

"Whyyyy"

"I don't feel like going. I have issues"

"Then get over your issues!"

"I'm scared"

"Nothing is gonna get better if you just lay in bed! What happened to the positive Kat? You were happy!"

"She's not here."

"WELL I DON'T LIKE THIS KAT AT ALL!"

.... and she left the room. Her words hit me hard. I don't like this Kat too, sis. I don't like her at all.. But she's gonna be here for a while..